A Personal Note to Spouses from Rob Jackson - 

Thank you for your interest in this ministry. Frankly, it's the spouse who typically calls me first. I commend you for your readiness to respond to your spouse's addiction. Paradoxically, you're the one who has to basically require your addicted spouse to get help. Sex addiction has a way of building in denial as the disorder worsens, and your spouse will probably resist your initial efforts. It's not uncommon for spouses of addicts to feel lonely and betrayed, and it's okay to ask for help.

At ChristianCounsel.com, we are aware that services are more easily secured for addicts than spouses of addicts. I think this is unfortunate, but not insurmountable. This fact, however, reveals two primary problems: 

(1) The sense of urgency tends to focus everyone's attention on the addict. When the credit card statement has been found or the Internet history reveals porn sites, or when an STD finds its way into your bedroom, reality has a way shattering denial. The addict's unmanageability has now made your life extremely unmanageable, and it feels like time to do something - now!. 

(2) The nature of coaddiction (living with an addict) is to believe that if you try hard enough, love enough, and just hope for the best, things are 'bound to turn out okay. Spouses of sex addicts find it difficult to believe that they can't "fix" their spouses. Often accused of trying to control the addict and life itself, the coaddict is typically fearful of admitting his or her personal sense of helplessness. 

The epidemic of sex addiction has caught our nation off guard. We have too few providers and resources to meet the increasing needs. Even as I write this note I am aware of thousands of adolescents and children who will surf the Net within the next 24 hours and feel the hook of pornography pierce their hearts. For this reason, may I suggest that we face the fact: We must move quickly to help anyone and everyone who is impacted by sex addiction.

 As you consider my ministry I hope you will be in prayer with me as we continue to develop the spouses' workshop ministry. I'm fully committed to serving the needs of men and women impacted by their spouses' sex addiction. 

Blessings,

Rob Jackson
Licensed Professional Counselor
Licensed Mental Health Counselor
National Certified Counselor